Monthly Archives: May 2012

Mozzarella Heels

Shortly after I started officially dating the Italian, he went off to Italy on holiday for his nieces christening.

He called me everyday which was, I admit, very impressive. You see, that’s the thing about foreign men, they don’t hold back. There’s none of this call you in three days rule, or only call before Wednesday if you want a date at the weekend. None of that! It was so refreshing to have a net a guy who put it straight, “I’a like’a you, I think’a you’a like’a me, so’a wanna hang’a outta with’a me or no?”.

And there you have it, day calls from his holiday. Sunning himself, eating pizza, drinking Spritzers and thinking if me – bliss.

One day I couldn’t quite believe my luck. The conversation went something like this:

*phone rings, incoming call from Venice*

Him: I’a was in’a the town’a today, you’a know, and I’a saw’a the’a gorgoose pair’a shoes on’a woman’a

Me: Really? You were looking at Women’s shoes. Interesting.

Him: Yeah, I was’a in’a the town’a for’a santhin (something) and’a I saw’a those shoes and’a thought’a I’a gona get’a you’a a gift’a’

Me: Well that would be very generous, thanks, sounds lovely.

How lucky?? I had met this guy, an Italian guy, who was in Italy shoe shopping for me!! Oh the excitement, I was going to get myself a nice little pair of Prada sling backs!

A few weeks later when he returned, we made arrangements to meet up. He arrived with a box and wearing the biggest smile. That was it, I was hooked, he had me at “shoes”!

He handed over the box and I slowly unwrapped the brown paper. Peeling back the first corner I spotted a P, my heart sank – he had really bought me a pair of Prada shoes!!

I peeled back a bit more to reveal an A. Ok, odd. Slightly confused. Not Prada. I looked again, definitely not an R, it was most certainly an A. The Italian looked on with brown puppy dog eyes willing me to hurry up and open it.

I ripped back the paper to reveal a word: PALSE. To me this meant nothing. To him it meant the world. He practically jumped up and down on the spot with excitement, salivating.

Its’a from’a my’a Nonna’s village!!!!” he squeezed with delight.

“What is it?” I asked with a half cocked head

La Mozzarella!! Mozzarella Palse!! It’a was’a made’a this mornin’a..” he said waving his hands in a motion that suggested I should have known what the heck he was talking about.

Rewind. Let me digest this. Where’s the shoes?? The shoes that the stylish Italian woman in the town was wearing? The shoes that prompted you to want to buy me a gift?

Still in Italy, that’s where the shoes were. In their place, sat on my lap was a box containing four balls of mozzarella. Was I supposed to be thrilled at this concept? He wanted me to willing eat a cheese knowing that it had been the contents of a cow’s udder only hours before??

Seriously, I would have SO preferred the shoes!

This was the first of the Italian’s odd gift offerings. If you want to read how he almost blinded me with a christmas present, check out my post Amore Mio.

Red shoes, Prada

Red shoes, Prada (Photo credit: Wikipedia)



Posted by on May 31, 2012 in London


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In it to Win it!

I made it to the quarter finals of the Lavazza Wimbledon #CoffeeSetMarch challenge!!

What welcomed news this was after a horrific week that saw me trying to fix a massive leak from a broken lead pipe in our garden which with lots of perseverance the Italian managed to fix and saved us near on a grand in the process; we put our stamp sized apartment up for sale and are VERY excited about starting the hunt for Biscotti Mansion!; I was stuck on a motorway for almost three hours in sweltering heat with a screaming baby; I had a big row with the Italian (mostly about the pipe which in hindsight was a bit stupid really and I admit I should have kept my mouth firmly shut!), oh well..!

All of this meant I was not an excellent wife this week, I wasn’t even a good wife. I was a moody, sulking, busier than ever whinge bag and I just didn’t have the time or the brain power to contemplate Lavazza concoctions.

Still, I managed to get through, which is utterly butterly amazing. Amongst all this craziness going on in my life at the moment, my creative juices are over flowing. Let’s hope now that I can make it to the semi finals!!

After this Wimbledon challenge, I will either be booking myself into rehab for caffeine addiction or booking myself into an ashram to chill the heck out!

Now, I must stop withering on, I’ve got a cake in the oven that I need to tend to…

Oh, one last thing, if you fancy winning yourself a little trinket, you should look out for promotional cups on take away Lavazza coffees, or enter online.  Prizes include six pairs of tickets to Wimbledon, 90 Lavazza A Modo Mio Favola Plus Wimbledon Limited Edition coffee machines and 500 sets of four exclusive espresso cups created especially for the tournament.



Posted by on May 28, 2012 in London


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The Italian: A Date

The Italian called me to advise “we’a goin’a far’a, dress up, yea..”.

So, first date and all, dress up I did. I had spent the last fifteen months in a bikini and flip flops so the opportunity to dress up was fantastic. I had a few days to plan my outfit: jeans, casual white top, black blazer, nude nails, minimal make up (I had a really good tan so didn’t overdo the face) and frostings of jewels.

The shoes were a slight issue. I only owned flip flops so I had to borrow a pair of very nice black heels from a friend. The problem was that they were a size too big and anyone who knows me, knows that I can’t walk in heels! I’m like Miss Piggy on crutches! But I had no choice so out I went wearing the borrowed stilettos.

The Italian picked me up promptly at 6pm. Rather early for a first date I thought but he sold it to me by saying we were going to a lovely place and had to be there on time. I was wooed.

The wooing didn’t last for long when at he bottom of the drive way was a scooter and perfectly perched on the seat were two helmuts. “We’re going on that?” I said in a ‘please say no’ tone’.

Well yea, we’a an’a goin’a far“. I reluctantly slid the helmut over my perfectly straightened hair, rubbing the blusher off my cheeks in the process, and shut the clamp firmly under my chin.

As we sped off sounding like a hair dryer on speed, the Italian slapped me on the leg and winked at me through his visor via the wing mirror. I was not impressed!

After about a ten minute ride, I noticed we were heading towards the M4. Are you kidding me?? we’re going on to the sodding motorway, on a scooter?? Is that even legal??

I was freezing! It was July but in England that means nothing. I was on a scooter, on a motorway, in stilettos and wearing a t-shirt! As first dates go, this wasn’t starting out well at all.

On my travels, I had picked up an amazing necklace at a jewelry market on the outskirts of Bangkok. Naturally a first date was the perfect time to showcase it. Wrong! As it was blowing for e gail wind on the back if the scooter, the stupid necklace had gotten entangled in the helmet strap under my chin. I was freezing AND choking!!

Whilst holding on to the side if the scooter with one hand, I tried to unravel the necklace with the other. My toes were rooted to the scooter step to try and keep myself from falling off. I was effing this and effing that under my helmut and wondering why I had even agreed to go in thus date. I was probably right anyway, he was gay!

Finally, after just over an hour we arrived in Windsor. I got off that scooter like John Wayne, my legs were permanently set to straddle mode, my head had been almost decapitated by my not-so-lovely-anymore-necklace and I hadn’t felt my feet for that half hour!

I composed myself and slid off the helmet to reveal a nest of matted nots that even a pigeon would have requested to be rehoused! I looked a state!

The Italian escorted me and my birds nest into Browns restaurant in Windsor where I immediately made a run for the toilets. Where, I ashamedly borrowed a strangers hairbrush to sort out my locks.

Luckily the meal was nice, the company was, well, different, and the journey home which I was dreading was mildly better as I dressed up in the winter wets that we’re hidden in the scooter seat! Seriously, if there had been any windows on that scooter, any street cred I had would have well and truly gone out of it!

You’a weren’t’a cold’a eh?” he asked. When my teeth had stopped chattering I told him bluntly “had have I known I would be on a scooter going 70mes an hour down the motorway, I would have dressed appropriately, so yes, I was/am freezing!”.

“But’a i’a told you’a to dress’a up!”

“I did!! Ive got jewelry on and everything!!”

“Yeah but’a in Italy when’a we say’a ‘dress’a up, we’a mean’a dress’a Up a’warm’a”

Oh well, we were not in Italy, we were in England and dress up to me means “wear something’ pretty Darlin'”, not get out your long johns and warmest balaclava!

And that amici, has been the basis of our relationship so far – lost in translation and reading between the lines – and mostly getting it wrong!


Posted by on May 27, 2012 in London


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Blogger of the Week!!

As I left the place that pays my bills, I jumped on the bus and took a seat. Out came my iPhone and on went Twitter.  I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw a tweet to me from DorkyMum saying congrats.  For what?

I saw the BritMums tweet right above and clicked on the link.  I, me, Tea&Biscotti, has been given a very prestigious award, that which is comparable to a blogging Oscar, a BritMums Blogger of the Week!!  Me…Blogger of the Week!

Not only have I been crowned by the blogging Monarchy, they have also expressed 1) a like and 2) a desire to try my Lavazza Wimbledon Challenge recipes!!  That’s a desire, and my blog, expressed to about 19,000 people, people!!  Can you chuffing believe it?!

Seriously, I best go and pour myself a cold shot of Limoncello to bring me back down to earth.  Grazie Mille BritMums, that was a much appreciated, lovely end to what has been a rather pooey week. You have single-handedly returned my mojo to its rightful place and are now the proud owners of eternal gratitude.

Awarded by the blogging Monarchy, who’d have thought it?!



Posted by on May 25, 2012 in Uncategorized


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Bella of the Ball

La mia bella Bambina is the bella of the ball,

My prinicipessa, the prettiest of them all,

The party girl soon she will be, sitting on her Mamma’s knee,

Little presents to make her happy

To keep her entertained while Mamma changes the nappy!

Noisy toys with lights and sounds, bears, dollies and merrygorounds.

Sandwhiches, cupcakes and lots to eat,

With all her baby friends to enjoy the day,

La mia bella Bambina, a baby you will stay.

My little One year old all too soon

Celebrating your first birthday, banners, cards and balloons.

La mia bella Bambina, what a treat…

You know little girl, you have the world at your feet!



Posted by on May 24, 2012 in Uncategorized


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Missing: One Mojo

I’ve lost it. Some would argue I’d lost it ages ago, my mental stamina that is. Now I’ve lost my imagination. I’ve lost my mojo, last seen on the M25 via a trip to Liverpool last week.

Yes, the fire in my belly has been reduced to a mere cinder. My get up and go has got up and gone.

I’ve got a blogging schedule as long as my arm, recipes to turn into masterpieces for Lavazza, a first birthday party to organise and presents to buy, a flat to pack up and sell, a house to find, another (no the same, again!!!) garden leak to sort out (hence sale of flat!) AND my day job…!!

There aren’t enough hours I tell you! I’m in quite a disarray as to how to remedy this. My mojo has been the hand I needed to lead me off into that place of escapism where I could blog and write silly stories about my otherwise very normal existence. The place where I can ignore all the other stuff and pretend that the life fairy will come along through the night and wave her magic wand … poof, all fixed!

So dear friends, if you happen to come across a lively mojo that looks a bit lost, it’s probably mine. Please return to owner, unharmed and fully intact. A reward of sincere gratitude will be given in abundance!



Posted by on May 23, 2012 in London



Let it be known that I’m not the best baker.  I think I’ve been doing ok with my Lavazza Wimbledon #CoffeeSetMatch challenge but to be honest I’m not sure whether this has been sheer determination or pure luck!

Tonight, I couldn’t face baking.  I couldn’t face hot drinks.  I’m a woman right? There’s only one thing I wanted: Chocolate!  So what was quick and easy to make? Something that I could throw together without an oven, without making too much mess.  I thought about it, I found it, I created it! #CoffeeSetMatch and my Lavazza Lollipop was born!

You know, coffee doesn’t have to be just for adults, it doesn’t have to always be sophisticated.  Coffee can be young, it can fun and it be a bit, oh ok, it can be very naughty!

I don’t know about you but I think these are pretty awesome! I have eaten three!  I used the Lavazza A Moda Mio Tierra Intensa capsule as I wanted a kick but you could easily make these as strong or a light as you wish.  I would definitely make these using Lavazza decaffinato for Bambina.

So, here goes, Ladies and Gentlemen, let me introduce you to my new creation, the LavazzaLollie:

What You Need:

1 Banana

3 humumgous dollops of Nutella – only Nutella – no shop own brand rubbish, just Nutella, proper bonafide Nutella

1/2 espresso cup of Lavazza coffee (your choose which you use depending on flavour preference)

Chopped Almonds

What You Do:

Mash up the banana in a bowl

Add the Nutella and mix it together, slowly pouring in the coffee.  Be careful not to let it get too wet or it wont set properly

Once the mix is mashed, put the bowl into the freezer for about 30 minutes to set.  Check it once in a while to make sure it doesn’t too hard.

Once it’s slightly stiff, squeeze in the wooden stick, press in the chopped almonds and leave for a further ten minutes until it holds

And there you have it, Coffee on a stick… A LavazzaLollie!

Now obviously you could be a winner and make one of my LavazzaLollies yourself but if you fancy really winning a prize, you should look out for promotional cups on take away Lavazza coffees, or enter online.  Prizes include six pairs of tickets to Wimbledon, 90 Lavazza A Modo Mio Favola Plus Wimbledon Limited Edition coffee machines and 500 sets of four exclusive espresso cups created especially for the tournament.


Posted by on May 21, 2012 in Uncategorized


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